It was a tough day. In fact, it had been a tough month. Getting women to come out of their houses and to listen to us tell them how they need to be more comfortable with their bodies and their bodily processes was challenging enough but this time, we were out in the communities, trying to get the men to come together and listen to us tell them that they needed to take more responsibility of the health and wellbeing of the women in their lives.
After spending about a month on field, we had found one gentleman, Mr Sameer, from the community who had shown willingness to help us mobilise men. We had an initial conversation with him about us and our work which mainly involved trying to create awareness about menstrual health and its allied issues. He seemed to be on board and we were excited to see him show interest. We were at that stage in our journeys that any man who would even remotely show any interest in listening to us was gold equivalent for me.
Coming back. That afternoon, when we were on the field, I could see Mr Sameer actively trying to get men to mobilise so that we could talk to them. We got two hours with the men, with Mr Sameer sitting through parts of the sessions. We ended the meeting by discussing how it is important for us men to take responsibility for a happy life of our wives and how we should make sure we support them in all possible ways. It was an emotional moment when the men agreed and spoke about how important this session had been for them. Our sessions were having an impact, after all.
After spending about a month on field, we had found one gentleman, Mr Sameer, from the community who had shown willingness to help us mobilise men. We had an initial conversation with him about us and our work which mainly involved trying to create awareness about menstrual health and its allied issues. He seemed to be on board and we were excited to see him show interest. We were at that stage in our journeys that any man who would even remotely show any interest in listening to us was gold equivalent for me.
Coming back. That afternoon, when we were on the field, I could see Mr Sameer actively trying to get men to mobilise so that we could talk to them. We got two hours with the men, with Mr Sameer sitting through parts of the sessions. We ended the meeting by discussing how it is important for us men to take responsibility for a happy life of our wives and how we should make sure we support them in all possible ways. It was an emotional moment when the men agreed and spoke about how important this session had been for them. Our sessions were having an impact, after all.
Slightly euphoric after the meeting, we walked with Mr Sameer to his house. As I entered his compound, I saw his wife washing clothes. The rains had shown some mercy after a long and relentless month and a half of downpour, and perhaps she had been trying to make the best of it. ‘Namaste, bhabiji, it’s been a while since I have seen you around!’ I greeted her warmly but I sensed that she was perhaps lost in her world as she gave me a feeble response. I guessed that there must have been a lot of washing to do. I brushed aside my thoughts and let Mr Sameer know that I would like to leave. As soon as I said that, he said, ‘nothing doing. You have come home and are not leaving without having some tea.’ I protested. I said, ‘No, no! Please don’t take the trouble. You’ve had a long day. We shall come some other day.’
‘Arrey, what trouble? Not at all. Come in, sit.’ And then, he added, addressing his wife- who was still washing clothes rather sullenly,’arrey, make some nice tea, quickly.’ We went into the room and sat on the chairs and looked at each other and smiled and talked about this and that. While I did not have the courage to look into her eyes, in that moment, it was a sombre realisation for me:
Yes, a man will take responsibility for the wellbeing of his wife. But first, let her make some tea.
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