They say that traveliing is always good because you get to meet interesting people and learn new things. Well, that was proved beyond doubt when I boarded the bus to Pune from Bengaluru.
Firstly, it was a long day and the bus was, as expected, late by about about half an hour. I should have expected the same and yet I was feeling edgy. I was looking forward to getting into the bus and letting the journey begin. As soon as I get into the bus, I see that my window seat is taken by somone else. I am very possessive about MY window seat and I immediately claim MY window seat. He moves without any fuss and as I am settling in my seat, he shows me his ticket and asks me to check because he is not good at reading. He then goes on to say that if his bag was not already in the overhead compartment (I had to think for about ten seconds to think as to what that space is called before, eventually, replaying in my head, the instructions that you so often hear when the plane is taxiing towards the runway), he would have shown me his adhaar card. I laugh it off and say that there is no need for that.
I am beginning to get ready for my solo time when suddenly he turns to me and asks,
'where are you going?'
'Pune', I say.
'Pune? I am going to Mumbai.'
I nod, hoping that that is the end of it. However, he continues chatting and tells me how he worked as a conductor on a similar bus for about 3 months before quitting and moving to selling fruits. He also tells me how he also worked on trucks along the Goa route and how that was an easy job but didn't pay much. All this while I am nodding my head and hoping that he would stop.
At this juncture, I feel obligated to tell you that I do not mean to be mean. I hold no malice towards anyone and there are times when I have genuinely tried to be a little more excited about striking up a conversation with others (no, not talking about Tinder), but sometimes, especially during bus/train journeys, I really love just being alone.
I guess this is evident on my face, because he stops abruptly and says, 'you aren't feeling bad that I am talking to you, no?' Cornered that I was, I put on a brave face (read, the Pfft Face) and say, 'no, no, not at all!'
'Ah, good. Becuase, you see, bhai, some people like to talk and some don't. You see, I am not able to sleep and you are also not able to sleep. So, I thought I will talk to you'
Ignoring the fact that he decided on my behalf that I was not able to sleep, I feel guilty for not showing enough enthusiasm about his story and I try to repeat some of the things he says so that he knows that I am listening to him (I really was!). And he takes a break for a while and just when I think that the ordeal is over, he begins talking about women and how he once saved the life of a woman who was being molested on the streets of Hubli. I fail to comprehend the chain of events, but I gather enough information to understand that she is still in touch with him. I try to make an appreciative face when he springs his next question which leaves me quite embarrassed.
'have you impressed any girls?'
'what...? Err...? No...'
'What are you saying! You would have obviously...' My brain has gone on red alert mode and it stops registering what he's saying. I am already hyper-aware of the quietness of the bus. What are other passengers going to think? Do I look like a play boy? How do I make him shut up? Why does every conversation among men eventually have to boil down to women? Before I could go off in a tangent of my internal commentary on the social ettiquettes (or the lack of it), I bring myself back to reality and make a desperate attempt to ward off his question about my ability to impress women.
'Err... I have home...' What I meant to say was that I stay at home with my parents. But then, as I say this, I realise that staying at home has got nothing to do with my ability to impress a girl. How do I bring this back on track? How do I regain control over the conversation? Things were getting too serious, too fast!
'what? Are you married?' Bless his soul. He found me an exit.
'Yes.'
'Oh, sorry bhai.' It was amazing how being married immediately put me out of the competition. Should I have felt bad? I don't know. But at that moment, I was a relieved man.
'No problem.' I make a married man face.
'For how long have you been married?' Interesting question. How long would I like to have ideally been married for? 'Two years', I say. it felt nice to be married for two years.
'Nice, nice(I don't know if he said nice, nice).' He goes quiet for a while before eventually asking, 'kids?' Of course! Why did I not think of that? Okay, do I want kids? Well, I know that I do not want kids. But the reasons for that are something that I did not have to patience to explain it to him.So I just say, 'no, not yet.'
'Right. But, what would you want?'
'I don't know. Whatever comes, i will be fine with it.' (what did my wife want, I wondered)
'No, but if you had to ask the one sitting upstaris, what would you want?'
'No preference', I say (unlike while booking IRCTC Tickets. There I aways want a Side Lower. Never get it, though).
'Right. Whatever He wishes to give, you will take.' I nod. And with that bit, the conversation ends.
I see that the conductor is switching on the TV and with that I see a possible full stop to the conversation. Akshay Kumar enters the bus as Mr Tichkule (Khatta Meetha) allowing me to exit into my world of thoughts.
Firstly, it was a long day and the bus was, as expected, late by about about half an hour. I should have expected the same and yet I was feeling edgy. I was looking forward to getting into the bus and letting the journey begin. As soon as I get into the bus, I see that my window seat is taken by somone else. I am very possessive about MY window seat and I immediately claim MY window seat. He moves without any fuss and as I am settling in my seat, he shows me his ticket and asks me to check because he is not good at reading. He then goes on to say that if his bag was not already in the overhead compartment (I had to think for about ten seconds to think as to what that space is called before, eventually, replaying in my head, the instructions that you so often hear when the plane is taxiing towards the runway), he would have shown me his adhaar card. I laugh it off and say that there is no need for that.
I am beginning to get ready for my solo time when suddenly he turns to me and asks,
'where are you going?'
'Pune', I say.
'Pune? I am going to Mumbai.'
I nod, hoping that that is the end of it. However, he continues chatting and tells me how he worked as a conductor on a similar bus for about 3 months before quitting and moving to selling fruits. He also tells me how he also worked on trucks along the Goa route and how that was an easy job but didn't pay much. All this while I am nodding my head and hoping that he would stop.
At this juncture, I feel obligated to tell you that I do not mean to be mean. I hold no malice towards anyone and there are times when I have genuinely tried to be a little more excited about striking up a conversation with others (no, not talking about Tinder), but sometimes, especially during bus/train journeys, I really love just being alone.
I guess this is evident on my face, because he stops abruptly and says, 'you aren't feeling bad that I am talking to you, no?' Cornered that I was, I put on a brave face (read, the Pfft Face) and say, 'no, no, not at all!'
'Ah, good. Becuase, you see, bhai, some people like to talk and some don't. You see, I am not able to sleep and you are also not able to sleep. So, I thought I will talk to you'
Ignoring the fact that he decided on my behalf that I was not able to sleep, I feel guilty for not showing enough enthusiasm about his story and I try to repeat some of the things he says so that he knows that I am listening to him (I really was!). And he takes a break for a while and just when I think that the ordeal is over, he begins talking about women and how he once saved the life of a woman who was being molested on the streets of Hubli. I fail to comprehend the chain of events, but I gather enough information to understand that she is still in touch with him. I try to make an appreciative face when he springs his next question which leaves me quite embarrassed.
'have you impressed any girls?'
'what...? Err...? No...'
'What are you saying! You would have obviously...' My brain has gone on red alert mode and it stops registering what he's saying. I am already hyper-aware of the quietness of the bus. What are other passengers going to think? Do I look like a play boy? How do I make him shut up? Why does every conversation among men eventually have to boil down to women? Before I could go off in a tangent of my internal commentary on the social ettiquettes (or the lack of it), I bring myself back to reality and make a desperate attempt to ward off his question about my ability to impress women.
'Err... I have home...' What I meant to say was that I stay at home with my parents. But then, as I say this, I realise that staying at home has got nothing to do with my ability to impress a girl. How do I bring this back on track? How do I regain control over the conversation? Things were getting too serious, too fast!
'what? Are you married?' Bless his soul. He found me an exit.
'Yes.'
'Oh, sorry bhai.' It was amazing how being married immediately put me out of the competition. Should I have felt bad? I don't know. But at that moment, I was a relieved man.
'No problem.' I make a married man face.
'For how long have you been married?' Interesting question. How long would I like to have ideally been married for? 'Two years', I say. it felt nice to be married for two years.
'Nice, nice(I don't know if he said nice, nice).' He goes quiet for a while before eventually asking, 'kids?' Of course! Why did I not think of that? Okay, do I want kids? Well, I know that I do not want kids. But the reasons for that are something that I did not have to patience to explain it to him.So I just say, 'no, not yet.'
'Right. But, what would you want?'
'I don't know. Whatever comes, i will be fine with it.' (what did my wife want, I wondered)
'No, but if you had to ask the one sitting upstaris, what would you want?'
'No preference', I say (unlike while booking IRCTC Tickets. There I aways want a Side Lower. Never get it, though).
'Right. Whatever He wishes to give, you will take.' I nod. And with that bit, the conversation ends.
I see that the conductor is switching on the TV and with that I see a possible full stop to the conversation. Akshay Kumar enters the bus as Mr Tichkule (Khatta Meetha) allowing me to exit into my world of thoughts.
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